Here's an update from Bonnie from our facebook group, in case you were wondering how she's doing x
I see you are wondering what is happening with me. Cancer has brought with it many ups and downs and it is hard to give a stable report as things continually change. I feel reasonably well much of the time but have had several emergency surgeries and procedures these last 2 months. Cancer is affecting much of my body - lesions (tumors) are in my bladder, gallbladder, liver, bone areas, etc,each with its own set of challenges. It appears chemo caused or contributed to an eruption of the colon into the stomach requiring immediate midnight surgery a few weeks ago.
Each surgery led to prolonged waits for my chemo so the cancer spread. I have not had chemo for two months and I am likely going to quit as it made me feel terrible and I am opting for quality of life now. The good news is that pain is well controlled with a mild narcotic and my mind is still functioning close to normal but my energy is low and I spend most of my time sleeping, reading, watching tv, resting. It is hard to go anywhere but I am not minding so much quiet time. This illness has brought my family more close and real, and deepened my relationship with my husband, and shown how much love is available from friends and even people I barely know. It is humbling and touching. Adya has been very available to talk with, and given me much support. I will likely go into hospice at some point but do not feel ready yet as my life is comfortable enough in a home I love, with great views, and continual caring from my husband, our children and a home health agency.
I miss my contacts with you and all my wonderful clients. But mostly I feel gratitude for the wonderful career and contacts I have made over the years, and the comforts of my life. I feel truly blessed in my life. I recently turned 80 and so I do not feel cheated out of life. I feel great compassion for the many young people and children suffering this and other illnesses -- it would be much harder if I were young. I am very fortunate to be satisfied with my life and although I still would love a reprieve from dying at this time, I am aware it would take a miracle.
A group of close friends and family sit on Sunday mornings at 10 am for 15 minutes as a healing meditation circle for me and this has felt immensely supportive .If any of you would like to join in your own way at this time and tune in internally please do.
We hold an intention that I experience the best possible outcome
and my family find peace throughout this process.
Knowing all of you is a wonderful gift at this time of my life and I trust you will each in your own way carry on my work and spirit.
We are all one awareness, each with unique experiences, journeys and gifts. I am honored to have been part of your journey towards truth and wholeness. You are each part of the evolving light needed on this planet. Keep meditating, grounding and supporting each other in your awakening. Know that at the core your true nature is simply presence, awareness and love. Life is a collection of adventures our true nature moves through but it remains untouched, despite the angst our minds produce. The stillness of meditation eventually soothes and transforms our mental agitation and wires us to feel at peace as we navigate through our life...and death. This is freedom. When we hold fidelity to our deepest knowing and meet what needs to be released we find equanimity and connection with the flow of our universe.