Hello everyone, I have analyzed many of the suggestions and opinions regarding the dark night of the soul, I have read that the best thing we can do is not resist and let go. However, in practice it is not so easy, I have been with kundalini awakening for 8 years. At first I did not understand the meaning of the symptoms and manifestations, which in my opinion were quite dramatic and then everything became complicated by the resistance and having sought help in people who said they knew how to handle this energy, which left me with more health complications than I already had. Nowadays I try to get ahead every day, I am a teacher in the nursing area, but honestly there are days when I am tired (since I had complications with kundalini I feel too much physical fatigue) I try to give up, however my only option is work, I can't stay at home and I don't have financial support from anyone. I have tried several remedies to combat the fatigue situation but it ends up being useless since it seems that my kundalini does not respond to external treatments of any kind, this year I turn 32 years old, my awakening began at the age of 23 and since then my life has consisted in surviving the symptoms, I currently have no friends and I have no partner since the process began which makes me feel quite lonely and a little strange since in my country it is not common to be without a partner for so many years, all of the above makes me feel too much personal frustration, I mentally understand that I should not resist the plan of my soul but my heart longs to have had a very different life and I do not know how to handle these feelings of helplessness and humiliation, I have lost many job opportunities due to my physical disability that would have guaranteed a much better economic life, I have a sister who is the pride of my parents, because she has succeeded in every way, for my father I have failed in everything.
It is difficult and painful for me to think that I will be in these conditions for the rest of my life, I think that it is very difficult to belong to Western society and be living a process of transformation alone and without the understanding of anyone around you, having to deal with the judgments and the confusion that the entire process generates in addition to the physical symptoms.
Many years ago before I woke up I imagined that at 32 years old I would find myself married, with children and a settled home, I am 5 days away from a new year of life and I can only feel disconnection with life, sadness and hopelessness, I try to connect with divinity and with my own kundalini, however I feel that in my reality things do not change, I honestly feel stagnant and really want to leave the body and be able to rest.
I have to deal a lot with the suicidal thoughts that come to my mind, I feel very disoriented in life, I feel that by having a kundalini awakening we lose the sense of orientation that is outlined for everyone in Western society, it is like losing. the map and you no longer know how to live, honestly I have been feeling abnormal for years and I don't know how to continue surviving
In your experience, what do you recommend or suggest to deal with frustration and the fact that your lives took turns you never imagined. I would love to read them, blessings to all and thank you.
I don't speak English, use a translator, sorry if it's not very precise.
Thank you so much Claudia for your sharing. You are not alone. I think many members of the Collective can identify with what you have experienced.
I think many of us have to accept that the norms and expectations of Society do not fit in with our true life path. This can be difficult.....but we will not find contentment by trying to be who we are not.
I am sorry, but I do not speak Spanish....but there must be some members of the Collective that do.
If it would be helpful we could ask people at the Zoom meeting if anyone did speak Spanish, and if they did if they wanted to contact you throuh the Menbers' Chat on the website?
Thank you again for your sharing...it is really valuable and helpful to others....and please feel free to share again.