Here is my awakening story. Thank you kundalini collective for offering a space for community members to do so.
In hindsight I must say that it feels more like remembering. Growing up I always experienced a set of very unique events that showed me how powerful one's body is.
The first tangible example is my LEGO-fueled space flight. Simply put, I was about 4 years old and I played with LEGO often. I was able to use my imagination to build different pieces everyday (mostly houses). The tools of this trade were: a big rectangular white carpet, a big LEGO red bucket and the patio in the front yard. I now know that that repetitive playfulness allowed me to access a flow state. Time just wasn't a thing when fitting one piece after the next was all there was happening. Well, one sunny day I was just transferred from the carpet in the patio & into a big empty black vast space. No body, just awareness in a infinite black. This was a calming experience that I did truly enjoy because it was simply different.
Fast forward to age 13. I joined a theatre company so that I could express my creativity, work with others and offer some entertainment across other schools in the district. We produced our own plays and this co-creation was democratically fun. Everyone was encouraged to contribute with ideas, words and narratives. Then we would vote and agree what the last version of everything is to be. The biggest lesson here was the power of rehearsing weekly & teamwork. The biggest reward came on a week long workshop on corporeal expression. The person training us was an outsider and was in our small little town for that purpose only. Part of the workshop there was a sort of a shamanic drumming dance. We would close our eyes and dance to the sound of the same rhythm every day. Initially with our eyes open but then we evolved into going around dancing in a circular movement with our eyes closed. Imagine 12 people dancing in a circumference, 24 stomping bare-feet in a wooden floor spinning round and around without any kind of bumping into one another.
The intention of the workshop was to teach us how to do things unconsciously, How to use one's own body-memory to perform activities on a stage. After the dance we would sit down and the teacher would go on about bringing unconscious processes occurring in one's body to the forefront - through actually feeling them unfolding.. He condensed it down just to one thing: can you feel & control your blood flow? During the workshop I experienced for the first time the sensation of tingling across the body. I shared this with him and he placed his hand on the crown of my head and said for me to feel my blood flow on my left arm - and I really did. He continue this guided exercise across the body until it reached my feet. I then felt very light, weightless - just an electric being. This state of expanded awareness happened on the day that we did the blindfolded shamanic dance. It truly felt like a gift to be able to tune in into a unconsciously controlled process & bare witness to it.
The third tangible example is the kundalini awakening. Well I must say that it is a indescribable experience. The more words I try to find to explain it the less I harness the experience down. However, that never stopped me from trying :) so, here it goes...
At age 27 I started being very curious about chakras and the human body regulation. I used my previous experiences to tap into my body through breath work, yoga and meditation. I followed this practice and always asked for better tools for me to incorporate my feelings, understand my actions and process my thoughts. At that point it seemed like I was making progress on a monthly basis. I started to nurture a constant state of being calm. Fast forward to age 31 where, after a reading marathon about outer body chakras & more widely about the etheric life body, I just had it with through seeking, life & death, physical & metaphysical, spirituality etc. I felt like I had enough because when I was almost about ready to grasp everything that I learned over the years the puzzle just expanded beyond my expectations.
I did my evening breath of fire exercise to release the frustration about what the incapability to hold the immensity of the truths that I just read about. I also felt like I had no more desire to continue to LEGO this puzzle up into being. I acknowledged defeat because it was just too much information. However, during the breath of fire exercise I started to feel a S-shaped tingling motion arising from the base of my spine. This was not the first time that I experienced tingling and I stayed with it for a while longer. The sensation was getting stronger and I decided to stop and lay this body down into the bed. You've probably guessed, this sensation was not going anywhere and I remained curious observing it swirling around my belly. Then a luminous sphere of light appeared on the top right-hand side corner of my bedroom. It was like a lighthouse just was turned on. The tingling sensation was then expanded to my heart space. At this point I was feeling pure bliss because I knew I was safe. Surprisingly the tingling continued to be more & more intense and moved onto my throat followed by my head. Then I myself began to emanate that same bright lighthouse-like beam from my forehead. I could see rays of pure white and gold dust and feel my entire body buzzing. I have absolutely no idea for how long this went on but it felt like hours to be honest. A million thoughts and realisations occurring at once... Beautiful gracious experience.
Next January 29th 2023 it will be my 5 year kundalini awakening anniversary. I count it because to me it was a rebirth. I have spend this much time integrating the experience and I am sure that I will continue to unpack it still. The main integration is focused on the fact that the sphere of light that guided the experience/visited me was also inside me. I remember that at one point that same luminous & lively white light was everything there is. Just one thing really.
Oh well. I don't know how to get to the above mentioned infinite black space that playing with LEGO showed me nor the lighthouse electric white loving kundalini experience. However, I have spend my life bringing unconscious human body processes to conscious awareness. At age 22 I decided to let go of previous conditioning and habits by emerging myself in a 9-year long weight loss journey that took me from 127 Kg to 66 kg. During this process I stopped drinking alcohol as well. This physical and mental transition has enabled me to best know myself and accept what I can be. Seeking one's truth does lead to evolution I guess.
So far, I have done this by myself. No gurus, no support system and no medication. Yes, my awakening life adventure has been the most difficult yet natural thing that I embraced...and it is still unfolding... now with the Kundalini Collective's contribution!
I wish the Kundalini collective continues to be a space where like minded people meet. Creating a field that goes beyond hugs, words or any other conventional material transactions. May we share a welcoming greet towards every member of this community.
Thank you for reading though my experiences and I am looking forward to hear, share and learn more truths.