Hello happy to find this site. I had a spontaneous KA in Feb 2020, 3 weeks before lock down. I believe I have had glimmers of an awakening my entire life, being pointed to things, dreams, interests, experiences etc but I believe that my early childhood trauma was too strong to allow it fully as that was what was running my life, along with a strong habit of disassociating and numbing myself with marijuana and obsessive tendencies. Anyway on that one morning, 2/14/2020 I woke up and I knew everything was suddenly different. Prior to this morning I had recently discovered that my partner was a narcissist and due to that discovery made the startling revelation that so was my mom. I was on a collision course with disaster, realizing that I needed to get this partner out of my life as he was becoming more and more abusive to prevent that. Well that one morning I woke up with the most intense fire I have ever felt in my bladder area. I went all over searching for a medical diagnosis and to figure out what was wrong with me. But that fire saved me because I couldn’t have sex, and paired woth the lock down, made it so that I could lock him out of my house. I never did get a medical reason for that intense fire but what followed was 2.5 years of insanity. I had no idea what K was, all I knew is I suddenly had the worst anxiety on the planet, I was having crazy dreams, weird shit was happening, lots of weird shit, memories were surfacing, I felt like hell, my entire body hurt, I couldn’t relax. It was a living nightmare. I look back now and see that all of my stored trauma was coming up to be cleared. I got into somatic experiencing and the stuff was just oozing out of me. I was terrified to say the least. Since I finally figured it out last Spring I have been trying to surrender and allow the processing to compete, but it continues to not be easy. Lots and lots of ups and down, dreams, emotions, fears, and yes some beautiful feelings of peace and happiness. My hope is this completes and integrates eventually as it is soooo hard. But I do believe that if it was not for this I have no idea where I would be today…. I am overall much better off despite the overwhelming difficulties of this process. There is so much more but I think that is a good summary for now. Thank you for reading. Finding others on this journey to relate to has been the greatest gift of all.
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Thank you so much for sharing you story Sheri. I think may people will identify with this.
For me the first few months of my kundalini eruption were very difficult...as you say the process of kundalini processing our trauma is not going to be easy.
But it became much easier over a bit of time, and then after a year...and meeting others in the spiritual awakening process...I began to realise it was a gift not a curse.
For me, and I know others, a big turning point...as well as connecting with others in the process...was to surrender and trust kundalini to do her thing. It is a benign process.
It is good to hear that you are making such progress on your journey.