Kundalini awakening, burnout or going crazy?

About your question it's noticeable that you are doing meditative work - which leads somewhere - and among all the things, you had some mystical experiences - feeling one with the Universe and felt the pain of the society; also the past life regression ..definitely you are experiencing something mystical. Also being extremely aware of your thoughts might be a mystical experience, growth of self-awareness.

About your dark experiences - I would say what Buddha said, meditate calmfully and observe those things. In all cases, those weird thoughts and feelings have something to tell you. Feel this dark side of you, become one with it, and pay neutral attention - slowly it gets illuminated. I think in beginning, experiences come for some moments; later they come more often and finally they become part of your consciousness - as energy is coming, it must prepare you to make yourself stronger for it. Let this dark part of you go on, don't hold it back too much - sure, hold it back if you see it's more than you can tolerate -; the negative part of human is also living it's life; a life of unbecoming - when it can do it's job to the end, you find out what those experiences are about.

In general, the negative experiences: first there is hardship in your life; second, you pay it attention and the hardship thus grows stronger; third you get illuminated about it, release the stress, and in this end you can see looking backwards, that this was a perfect event with deep meaning. Let's hope this all happens in this life - but this is the normal way of hardship, it's a negative force living a life of solving itself, and thus it has to do something unexplainable in positive terms - it has it's own logic. Negative things have their own logic, but you have to kind of bless this, until you see the meaning and it has it's release. I think you cannot avoid negativity - I have kind of theorem of imperfection of Universe; namely that imperfection is perfection.

I don't know whether it's a Kundalini Experience, but I can tell you it's a human life and those are human experiences. I think here, people with Kundalini Experience, definitely go through similar things; and who does not go through the dark sides of being human, barely would become strong enough to experience something. As it's a human experience, definitely with mystical elements, probably you don't need to know so much what it is, but you can work through those materials like dark night of the soul - if it's not dark night of the soul, it's something related in fractal of the truth; namely, for example, you can learn from there that it's an experience, and experiences become meaningful once you have gone through them. They can also be a part of your development, as you can learn from others, who experienced the dark night of the soul.

I think the negativity is deep and important force in the universe, which has to be blessed - philosophically, what's the meaning of good feeling? You cannot say that good feeling, or good reality, are the absolute truths - the process always gets better, but you can see the meaning in bad experiences. The meaning, usually, is later seen as the meaning of an experience - to grow, you need to go through experiences. This is what you can learn from dark night of the soul ..it might or not be the same thing, but if this resonates with you - information about dark night of the soul - then do your research and learn what it has to teach you. You can feel better, if you don't expect much, but you learn from similar experiences. And Kundalini Awakened or Awakening people, or who resonate strongly with this truth of Kundalini Awakening, probably they know things about negative spiritual experiences.

I think quitting your job, namely that the mundane way does not satisfy you any more, and you cannot behave so much with the accepted norms - but start seeking something deeper ..it might be a way for a job, which matches you better - this deep feeling that the life as it is does not satisfy you any more, or you don't feel such fatal desire to do it any more, it's an usual symptom of some kind of enlightenment. It's also the part doctors do not like. Maybe in this case you need to meditate about material outcomes deeper, and meditate through all the negative aspects of material stability you have invented - maybe, once through them, you can find out another material way, which would satisfy you more. In material world you need balance - you need to meditate about a way, which does not stress you too much, the job should be kind of comfortable and not expect too much from you; still it should have some material outcomes. So you have to be more realistic about your material life and get deeply involved - which kind of thing resonates with you, is comfortable so that you don't feel you waste your energy or destroy yourself, and still has the material outcome. When higher chakras open, the lower chakras are often not balanced any more, as you need stronger root chakra after crown chakra opening, for example - you can go through your event, but later, meditate about your material outcome and meditate about the material sensations, needs, material things around you, sensations, in such way that you don't connect them with people who pay you salary or help you materially - so that you create a connection with material world alone; this is the principle of material world that it's about the forms, and not the specific elements involved, it's about the material environment and not the people or activities, which bring it - once you are better connected with this element, you can probably come out from the material struggle you are facing in the future.

Hi Jeroen, Like Alan said, I wouldn't say this is necessarily a kundilini awakening. But there are many forms of spiritual awakening and it sounds like you're experiencing one/some of those. You didn't ask for further advice, but I feel drawn to reflect to you that you might be aligned with an earth-based spiritual approach. With any spiritual practice I would suggest proceding with caution and only if you intuitively resonate with it, but one simple practice you could try is forming a relationship with a willing tree. To do this, find a tree that you feel drawn to, ask if it would be willing to help you, and if you feel a 'yes' sit and meditate with the tree. You could ask it to help show your system how to ground. That should help with balancing the different energy symptoms and with emotional processing, so it can help alleviate depression and anxiety. Basically it allows stressful/heavier energies to leave your system (which are digested by the Earth) and supportive energies from the earth to be received into your system. An animist teacher of mine taught me this, although it's common across many traditions. it also might help to find some sort of teacher or container to support your explorations. See if you feel drawn to that and then put out the intention to find the right one for you.

All the best,

Charlotte

Hi Jeroen,

I think this is a very difficult question to answer.

My own view would be that you may have been experiencing elements of a spiritual awakening.....such as feeling at one with the entire universe ...having a distance from your thoughts. Perhaps also you might be experiencing some kundalini activation......you mention the energy in your hands and crown.....though this could be rather prana or ki energy.

I do not personally think this is a kundalini awakening as you are not experiencing some of the more common signs...such as intense energy coming up the spine, spontaneous body movements, sounds, visions etc.

One other thought that I would like to share is that if your experiences are becoming hard to manage it might be wise to cease spiritual practice for a while and let things settle. Also grounding is very important. The Spiritual Crisis Network has some really clear advice re: grounding and self care. Please see: https://spiritualcrisisnetwork.uk/grounding-andselfcare

I hope these thoughts are useful Jeroen.