Hi everyone,
My name is Shyam. My kundalini journey started a few years back when I was experimenting with different meditations, most notably when I was doing meditations from a book I was reading by Dr Joe Dispenza. The meditations were unlike anything I had previously experienced. I felt at times, that I had entered a space of total silence, maybe bliss and it felt great.
However, this feeling I would experience during the meditations was seemingly temporary and I would feel this underlying sense that something was missing or that there was something that I was not totally aware of within myself.
I had been doing the meditations for a few months when all of a sudden a pressure arose in my head, specifically at the top of my head. It went away at first but it came back and I have been dealing with it ever since. I was 20 at the time and I started to believe that I was spiritually broken and that I had done something very wrong. It was very dark initially as I didn't know what I was experiencing.
It was this constant pressure, at times it would become a bit weaker and at times more intense. It became very hard to navigate through life, even the simple things became so difficult. I was scared to look into what I was experiencing, and I never did until last year.
Along with this pressure, I have this constant ringing in my ears if that's the best way to describe it. When I am more aware of it, the sound becomes louder. Not an unbearable sound, it's quite nice to just be aware of it at times.
I came across an article by Tara Springett about head pressure and how it related to kundalini. She spoke about what it represented and how it's sort of related to our ego and certain ideas we hold about ourselves.
I started doing a guided meditation, with the focus on connecting to our higher consciousness and feeling this light expand into the body. Focusing on caressing those areas where I was experiencing discomfort and pain. I also find it quite comforting to connect to a deity, for me this is usually Shiva.
I find myself getting very stuck in my head in familiar patterns. It just seems like I have a very negative outlook on what I'm experiencing. Almost as if it has ruined my life! I find that I become quite controlling over the whole process, and this just creates more resistance within me which ultimately affects the symptoms that I'm experiencing.
In the last year, I have also developed some issues in my stomach/abdomen regions. It started with acid reflux which I had experienced in previous years but would seemingly go away. This time it didn't and it felt like it was getting worse. This was accompanied by a strange pain which was concentrated on right side of my abdomen, which started to get much worse. I then noticed that the pain would move from one side to the other.
I have been to a doctor who did initially prescribe medication which did help and I will also be getting a scan of the area soon as well.
In the last few months, this pain has seemingly gotten better and at times it just disappears. I really feel a sense that there is a lot of energy/emotional pain which is stored in this area and at times it has come up.
I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read this and respond.
Thanks!
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