Six years ago while giving birth to my daughter, I was pronounced dead for a couple of minutes. I believe that's when my kundalini awakening or kundalini syndrome began. All I remember from that experience is before I "passed" I was deathly cold. After that experience my whole life fell apart. Although I became very interested in snakes and religion. I kept seeing patterns of snakes through all religions. I became super interested in holistic medicine also.
I started taking magic mushrooms for my mental health, lots of research done before. Everytime I took them, I would see snakes. One time when I was on magic mushrooms, I started painting on my wall. I drew an ankh, a lotus flower and a snake round it. On the snakes back I wrote "truth"
Recently, my trips have all been snake related. One side of my face looks reptile like. One time I started to contort into weird shapes and it felt so good. Like I was getting rid of bad energy. I was aware it was snake like. Yesterday I took magic mushrooms and it started off really beautiful. Then I started to get really cold, deathly cold. I had a thick blanket on but I just couldn't heat up. I jumped in the shower and I had the most terrifying experience of my life. As soon as my body hit the hot water, I started having strong contortions. I couldn't control my body. I could feel a snake inside me. My face started to contort, mouth opening wide like a snake, I started spitting, getting thrown about my shower, on my knees at some points. I looked in the mirror and I seriously thought I was possessed. As soon as I made eye contact with myself, "the snake" using my mouth said "I'm not going back to sleep" my pelvis felt like it was out of control while I felt it was trying to get through my throat but it couldn't. I started dry heaving on my knees. I felt there was a blockage in my throat. The snake was blocked at my throat. Lots of spitting, facial contortions and more being thrown around my shower. It had complete control of my body. I seriously considered calling a priest as I just wanted it out of my body. It had exhausted me. I wasn't sure what was going on.
A few hours later, after a complete meltdown and sobbing so hard, I realised I wasn't possessed. This energy was trying to save me but there is a blockage at my throat where it can't get through. I had to work with this energy. I have been wary to do so as western world(I'm from Scotland) tells us snakes are bad and evil and even researching kundalini, some people say it's demonic. And being through what I had been through yesterday, I can see why. I understand now that the problem lies with me. That there's an energy blockage in my throat. When I felt that deathly coldness, I jumped in a hot shower. I was afraid of death as I had felt that deathly coldness before. If I just let this energy do what it had to do without that fear, perhaps things would of been different.
I'm also very stubborn and think I have to do everything by myself. So for me to reach out and ask for help on this matter, is a big deal for me. I need guidance from people with experience in this. Recommendations on books, meditations, anything that will help me through this process that I've been scared of delving into. I know I need to now. She is awake and isn't going back to sleep