Carl Custav Jung is my principial authority of open mind in Western society, on neutral tone and balanced argument.
Classics: Lao Tze, Christ, Confucius, Buddha; for shorter books, they can be read directly, the bible as well - for huge collections like the material of and related to Buddha, one needs shorter introductions to cover specific type of enlightenment.
Since I have read a lot, and it would be special work to give a number of best books; indeed in the beginning one needs quite complete materials - with history, methods, skeptic doubts etc. and it's often the context, the surrounding ambient, rather than enlightenment itself. Over time it would collapse into a few sentences, such as "Attention" - one Buddhist, when asked about methods for enlightenment, to write it on paper, just wrote this word. When he was asked to explain more, he wrote this three times ..indeed, one could write this on paper, and have the front and back covers.
Artificial intelligence gave some more sentences, which could be seen as central:
Lao Tze: "Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?"
Christ: "The kingdom of God is within you."
Buddha: "A fool who knows he is a fool is for that very reason a wise man."
Jung: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
To study enlightenement, one could make sure to cover the history: in Eastern and Western cultures, there have been Shamanism, Alchemy, Magic, Religion, Metareligion (buddhism, science, deconstruction). Metareligion has seen several religions and tries to unite them into one family - religion finds the common laws, the Universal Truth, but then it's important that even this "last word" is not alone - like Christ saying "within you" instead of "attention".
From what I recognize more of the books below:
Stanislav Grof: deep topic, even if it's a little bit abstract.
Carlos Castaneda gives a rich tapestry of emotion about shamanic possibilities.
A philosophical question: whether the books for enlightenment are also about enlightenment? Adventure books can fill us with readyness for deep nights; fantasy and sci-fi can open up to possibilities - sci-fi, because enlightenment is typically achieved at classical age, bringing the best books, but indeed it moves further; Start Wars, Dune and Lord of the Rings are herein important books: while it's not the actual process of enlightenment, here and now, the archetype of enlightenment is very vivid. Some books bring a special states of mind - Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino is purely hypothetical realm, but then you gain a good emotion of something like "wandering". The "little prince", in this context, is a classic example - people get some kind of "enlightenment", even the atheists (without changing their religion). "Seme from Amacem" (Piumini Roberto) - while this is a fantasy, the feeling it brings up is close to Castaneda; using your imagination for hallucinations of vivid realms; for example as a child, when I did read it, the magical feeling was strong and in children play one would not make big difference between a miracle and such fantasy. Utopy writers such as Isaac Asimov could bring our science and life imagination to levels, which make us able to head to the future.
Is enlightenment a specific thing you can learn on book alone, or rather perhaps you need to look at your life, the future, the society, and actually try to reach sciences, religions and fantasies, possibilities - to become more human. Even a computer program could get enlightened with 3 theorems of Buddha, in a simulation there would be beings very grateful for the whole - but then, it's the attention, concentration, stillness of the mind ..but one can see, carefully looking, that attention itself does not have anything mystical about it, and all we do is to develop our living creature, using the skills we already have, in a way - then, enlightenment is not about enlightenment itself, but one might work in garden for many years and suddenly find the flow of the nature; one could be alive, working actively, and developing a skill to help the humankind. Then, can enlightenment be a goal on it's own, or is it the central philosophy of much bigger life?
I think we need taste for food, music; we need dreams and goals, etc. - in all this process, enlightenement is natural. For example, to meditate outwards, to actual reality - for example, gentlemen were giving attention to women, and to details, and ancients were having full awareness and heavy attention to the nature: it's a survival and growth concept appearing over and over. Sometimes it's funny how to say - am I better than skeptic only because I spend time to turn off the inner dialog, while a skeptic knows absolutely well what is the inner dialog? I am using just the human body and human mind. In wider context, we call the special moments "satoris", and grand understandings and developments, where we cannot turn back - "enlightenments" ..but you would give me a poor bread without science; as the science develops - a poor man would offer a whole coat.
I am wondering about the spiritual emergency support? I think I might find them helpful as I’m truly feeling like I’m on the path where I am not going back to where I was (not choosing that)
But yet, feeling the desire for human connections and support on this path.
There is much more to my story of course.
I’d love to share some of my story with you as I’d appreciate your insight.
Hi Shawnna, a warm welcome to the Kundalini Collective! Thanks for sharing aspects of your spiritual journey. As I wrote, I have been following Sufi path of inner transformation. I was initiated into the Sufi Order of the West by Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan. He has written several books describing how one awakens in life after having awakened beyond life. A good introduction to his teachings is "The Call of the Dervish." I hope to see you at one of our monthly online zoom sharing meetings. Peace and Joy to you.
This site is full of richness, and I am finding myself drawn by threads in so many ways throughout my current life to pieces that resonate with my awakening. I jump around from resource to resource, and I believe and intuitively and divinely know this is right for me (this adventurous search in many directions) as I have been such a highly controlled human by my own self out of fear. That control was an internal hell; and I know there was a line I just red about living our lives from within instead of living from the outside in I can't remember where I saw that, and it was on this site I think..or from one of the OMEGA teachers.
Now, as I embrace, allow, and let go, I place no holds on my awareness moving to where intuitively it wishes. Mindfulness/heartfeltness guides me to allow all the experiences without trying to discipline them or control . Eventually, I believe mindfulness will be the experience of radically loving whatever unfolds..not by force, but by the understanding this is THE PATH.
So, I have come back to this site and your messages to revisit again.
From my heart, thank you for your warm welcome. I truly feel gratitude to share with others each of our own beautiful light journey. Each of us is a gorgeous thread, unique part of vibration, and source of light in the tapestry of creation.
Thank you for sharing your understanding and learning on sufism, This also resonates with me as finding our divinity within is what I KNOW to be the path.
I would love to attend a retreat. I also am looking into mindfulness now. I have been introduced and practiced it in very rudimentary ways, yet from reading one of the leaders excerpts from his books on mindfulness I can see it is so much more. I am deeply interested to know and practice this in my awakening.
I will look into the Vancouver resource you sent.
Can you please tell me again when and how to attend the group? I think you sent the info, but in all honesty, It is much easier for me to find if I know to watch this thread for the info.
I am interested in sufism and I ordered a couple books on mindfulness. I will look into the book from your teacher as well
Blessings and light radiate from me to you and back reflecting my own light to myself, as we are all parts of the divine light.
Shawnna, it is really wonderful to hear how you are rapidly gaining the insights needed to provide both the tools and the direction to progress onward in your inner development and spiritual journey. I am privileged to be a part of that process. Which group were you referring to when you asked when and how to attend? I'm not certain if you meant this Kundalini Collective or the Vancouver Sufi group. Yes, we are all parts of the divine light. The Sufi path of inner transformation culminates in becoming a being of light, that is someone who has undergone a profound transformation through spiritual practice and devotion, allowing the light of God to shine forth from their hearts. Peace and Blessings. Joe
A couple of years after my awakening, I saw the movie "Meetings with Remarkable Men", which is the story of G. I. Gurdjieff and his travels to achieve enlightenment and inner growth, based on his book by the same name.
Here's a link to a clip from that movie containing some captivating dance movements and dialogue which, for me, was a calling to master the inner, spiritual life:
Here are the words in this clip which motivated me to follow the Sufi path of inner transformation:
"Listen, you have now found the conditions in which the desires of your heart can become the reality of your being. Stay here, until you acquire a force in you that nothing can destroy. Then, you will need to go back to life, and there, you will measure yourself constantly with forces which will show you your place."
This literally gave me goosebumps as I have chosen and am deeply called to come HOME. I have fought the complete surrender for most of my life to my awakening and have now been dragged (kicking and screaming at times) to a place where I am answering the universal invitation to awaken to my divinity and the divine in all.
I literally have stepped out of my life into a place where I am choosing to develop that unshakable knowing in self and to become the living force of my divinity. The universe provided the circumstances and safety to do this.
I am saying yes with my entire being to shift to awaken and align.
Then when I am ready, I know there will be the time to step back into 'regular' life, but this will from a place of deep centeredness and knowing. I am honoured and delighted to find this community. Your post and that quote was so BANG on for me that I have written it in my reflections as it speaks to the actual journey I know I am on.
I would love to explore this work, and I know very little about Sufi awakening. I am so curious to know more about ALL.
I was brought to this place of awakening by deep, internal anguish and the desire to end my life as it was. Now I feel lightened and ready for this journey that requires deep courage, faith, and letting go over and over and over again.
Please see below resources recommended to me by Dr. Liane Hofmann, from IGPP (I copy and paste her email below:)
Bonnie Greenwell: "Energies of transformation" - The volume describes the phenomenology, traditional and modern explanatory models and gives advice on how to deal with Kundalini phenomena. It is no longer quite new but still highly recommended:
Greenwell B. Energies of Transformation (1990): A Guide to the Kundalini Process. Cupertino, CA: Shakti River Press.
A website containing a wealth of information around the Kundalini-process as well as literature and further links, is also provided by Bonnie Greenwell: http://www.kundaliniguide.com/.
(Please note: This website can still be found online but Bonnie Greenwell passed away about 2 years ago).
Some time ago, an anthology entitled "Kundalini Rising" was published, containing some interesting recent contributions on Kundalini:
Kaur Khalsa G, Newberg A, Sivandnda R, Wilber K, Selby J. (2009): Kundalini Rising. Exploring the Energy of Awakening. Boulder Colorado: Sounds True.
The following book-chapter of mine gives an overview of the cross-cultural transfer of the Kundalini concept from a psychological-historical perspective. It also describes the phenomenal pattern and current psychotherapeutic developments in this field:
Hofmann L. The Impact of Kundalini Yoga on Concepts and Diagnostic Practice in Psychology and Psychotherapy. In: Hauser B (ed). Yoga Traveling: Bodily Practice in Transcultural Perspective. Transcultural Research: Heidelberg Studies on Asia and Europe in a Global Context. Heidelberg: Springer 2013; 81–106.
A standard reference on the subject of spiritual awakening and spiritual crises, written in a popular psychological stile and in which kundalini experiences are also described:
Grof S, Grof C (eds). Spiritual Emergency. When Personal Transformation Becomes a Crisis. Los Angeles: Jeremy Tarcher 1989.
Also recommended is "The Psychology of Kundalini Yoga," edited by psychology historian Sonu Shamdasani, which is devoted to C. G. Jung's reception of Kundalini Yoga and includes his original 1932 lecture:
I would like to recommend the book "The stormy search for the Self" by Christina Grof & Stan Grof. It covers all types of spiritual emergence/emergency and provides a wider context for understanding altered states of consciousness in different cultural contexts. I think the third part of the book; Strategies for Everyday Life and Guidelines for Family and Friends, is particularly helpful for those who are new to the process and are concerned about integrating back into daily life after an awakening.
3
Unknown member
Mar 13, 2022
Mysticism: A study in the nature and development of man's spiritual consciousness by Evelyn Underhill. Holy shit, wow! It's old and unfortunately most people just don't write like this anymore. It's deep, romantic, mystical, intriguing, and flat out sucks you into another level of reality. This book so amazingly delineates the stages of spiritual awakening, no matter what your spiritual or religious inclinations, that it just blows you away. I bought it for $4 at a used book store and it is by far the best and most influential book I've ever read.
I recently got recommended by Bonnie to read Chakra Healing Therapy by Glen Park. I would say it is a great book to get an understanding of how the chakras are working on different levels of our being (physical, psychological, psychic and spiritual). I will recite Bonnie from the cover of the book "the most clear and in-depth exposition of the chakra system I have read". It also includes some self chakra-healing exercises. I will review them later on :). I think she also could be an interesting therapist to see. She mixes Alexander Technique and Chakra healing. She lives in West Sussex, so for you Londoners it´s not that far to go. https://glenpark.uk/
One of the most helpful books I read is "Kundalini Rising: Exploring the Energy of Awakening." This is a collection of essays by a rich mix of people who have both experienced and studied/researched Kundalini awakenings. It covers a large variety of topics, and I remember actually being both elated and weeping as I read others' descriptions of things I was experiencing and learned that these are widely recognized phenomena, and that I wasn't going crazy!! This is an excellent book especially if your KA is fairly recent and you want to learn and understand more about what you're experiencing.
The people I highly recommend looking into are Dr. Bonnie Greenwell and Dr. Lawrence Edwards. Both have spent significant and noteworthy careers researching, writing about and counseling thousands of people experiencing a KA, in addition to having had their own personal experiences. There are also many interviews with people who have had Kundalini experiences on a fantastic series called "Buddha at the Gas Pump." The videos are available on the same-titled YouTube channel, podcast versions are also available and more info is on their website, batgap.com.
One final suggestion for now: if you are experiencing psychological issues, you may be well served finding and working with a transpersonal psychologist. I've been doing so for over a year and this has been incalculably helpful in all aspects of my awakening.
The Artists Way and The Art of Perseverance by Julia Cameron
These are great books for developing creativity through making space for your 'inner artist'. Julia talks candidly about her own struggles with alcoholism and living the creative lifestyle and it is easy to relate to her as a companion on the creative path. The books are structured in a number of weekly chapters with exercises in self enquiry and a focus for that week. She also advocates writing 'Morning pages' which are 3 pages of stream of conciousness writing to be written each morning, going for a weekly walk and a weekly 'artist's date' which is a visit to somewhere arty. I have found these books extremely helpful for developing self-expression through writing and art.
Carolyn Spring https://www.carolynspring.com/ has been hugely influential for me. She's a trauma survivor and trainer, not a kundalini teacher, but her story of overcoming adversity is groundshakingly powerful, and writting about the healing process full of wisdom and grounded advice. Highly reccomend her writings for anyone on a healing path.
I used to read a lot. Now I read a few.
Carl Custav Jung is my principial authority of open mind in Western society, on neutral tone and balanced argument.
Classics: Lao Tze, Christ, Confucius, Buddha; for shorter books, they can be read directly, the bible as well - for huge collections like the material of and related to Buddha, one needs shorter introductions to cover specific type of enlightenment.
Since I have read a lot, and it would be special work to give a number of best books; indeed in the beginning one needs quite complete materials - with history, methods, skeptic doubts etc. and it's often the context, the surrounding ambient, rather than enlightenment itself. Over time it would collapse into a few sentences, such as "Attention" - one Buddhist, when asked about methods for enlightenment, to write it on paper, just wrote this word. When he was asked to explain more, he wrote this three times ..indeed, one could write this on paper, and have the front and back covers.
Artificial intelligence gave some more sentences, which could be seen as central:
Lao Tze: "Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?"
Christ: "The kingdom of God is within you."
Buddha: "A fool who knows he is a fool is for that very reason a wise man."
Jung: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
To study enlightenement, one could make sure to cover the history: in Eastern and Western cultures, there have been Shamanism, Alchemy, Magic, Religion, Metareligion (buddhism, science, deconstruction). Metareligion has seen several religions and tries to unite them into one family - religion finds the common laws, the Universal Truth, but then it's important that even this "last word" is not alone - like Christ saying "within you" instead of "attention".
From what I recognize more of the books below:
Stanislav Grof: deep topic, even if it's a little bit abstract.
Carlos Castaneda gives a rich tapestry of emotion about shamanic possibilities.
A philosophical question: whether the books for enlightenment are also about enlightenment? Adventure books can fill us with readyness for deep nights; fantasy and sci-fi can open up to possibilities - sci-fi, because enlightenment is typically achieved at classical age, bringing the best books, but indeed it moves further; Start Wars, Dune and Lord of the Rings are herein important books: while it's not the actual process of enlightenment, here and now, the archetype of enlightenment is very vivid. Some books bring a special states of mind - Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino is purely hypothetical realm, but then you gain a good emotion of something like "wandering". The "little prince", in this context, is a classic example - people get some kind of "enlightenment", even the atheists (without changing their religion). "Seme from Amacem" (Piumini Roberto) - while this is a fantasy, the feeling it brings up is close to Castaneda; using your imagination for hallucinations of vivid realms; for example as a child, when I did read it, the magical feeling was strong and in children play one would not make big difference between a miracle and such fantasy. Utopy writers such as Isaac Asimov could bring our science and life imagination to levels, which make us able to head to the future.
Is enlightenment a specific thing you can learn on book alone, or rather perhaps you need to look at your life, the future, the society, and actually try to reach sciences, religions and fantasies, possibilities - to become more human. Even a computer program could get enlightened with 3 theorems of Buddha, in a simulation there would be beings very grateful for the whole - but then, it's the attention, concentration, stillness of the mind ..but one can see, carefully looking, that attention itself does not have anything mystical about it, and all we do is to develop our living creature, using the skills we already have, in a way - then, enlightenment is not about enlightenment itself, but one might work in garden for many years and suddenly find the flow of the nature; one could be alive, working actively, and developing a skill to help the humankind. Then, can enlightenment be a goal on it's own, or is it the central philosophy of much bigger life?
I think we need taste for food, music; we need dreams and goals, etc. - in all this process, enlightenement is natural. For example, to meditate outwards, to actual reality - for example, gentlemen were giving attention to women, and to details, and ancients were having full awareness and heavy attention to the nature: it's a survival and growth concept appearing over and over. Sometimes it's funny how to say - am I better than skeptic only because I spend time to turn off the inner dialog, while a skeptic knows absolutely well what is the inner dialog? I am using just the human body and human mind. In wider context, we call the special moments "satoris", and grand understandings and developments, where we cannot turn back - "enlightenments" ..but you would give me a poor bread without science; as the science develops - a poor man would offer a whole coat.
This is a book list of Bonnie Greenwell: https://www.awakeningguide.com/non-dual-book-list
Thank you for answering Joe.
I am wondering about the spiritual emergency support? I think I might find them helpful as I’m truly feeling like I’m on the path where I am not going back to where I was (not choosing that)
But yet, feeling the desire for human connections and support on this path.
There is much more to my story of course.
I’d love to share some of my story with you as I’d appreciate your insight.
Hi Shawnna, a warm welcome to the Kundalini Collective! Thanks for sharing aspects of your spiritual journey. As I wrote, I have been following Sufi path of inner transformation. I was initiated into the Sufi Order of the West by Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan. He has written several books describing how one awakens in life after having awakened beyond life. A good introduction to his teachings is "The Call of the Dervish." I hope to see you at one of our monthly online zoom sharing meetings. Peace and Joy to you.
A couple of years after my awakening, I saw the movie "Meetings with Remarkable Men", which is the story of G. I. Gurdjieff and his travels to achieve enlightenment and inner growth, based on his book by the same name.
Here's a link to a clip from that movie containing some captivating dance movements and dialogue which, for me, was a calling to master the inner, spiritual life:
Here are the words in this clip which motivated me to follow the Sufi path of inner transformation:
"Listen, you have now found the conditions in which the desires of your heart can become the reality of your being. Stay here, until you acquire a force in you that nothing can destroy. Then, you will need to go back to life, and there, you will measure yourself constantly with forces which will show you your place."
Link for the book (USA Amazon):
https://www.amazon.com/Meetings-Remarkable-Men-G-Gurdjieff/dp/1578988934/ref=asc_df_1578988934/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312149984830&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16284324265514107632&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1025202&hvtargid=pla-570233810356&psc=1
Please see below resources recommended to me by Dr. Liane Hofmann, from IGPP (I copy and paste her email below:)
Bonnie Greenwell: "Energies of transformation" - The volume describes the phenomenology, traditional and modern explanatory models and gives advice on how to deal with Kundalini phenomena. It is no longer quite new but still highly recommended:
Greenwell B. Energies of Transformation (1990): A Guide to the Kundalini Process. Cupertino, CA: Shakti River Press.
A website containing a wealth of information around the Kundalini-process as well as literature and further links, is also provided by Bonnie Greenwell: http://www.kundaliniguide.com/.
(Please note: This website can still be found online but Bonnie Greenwell passed away about 2 years ago).
Some time ago, an anthology entitled "Kundalini Rising" was published, containing some interesting recent contributions on Kundalini:
Kaur Khalsa G, Newberg A, Sivandnda R, Wilber K, Selby J. (2009): Kundalini Rising. Exploring the Energy of Awakening. Boulder Colorado: Sounds True.
The following book-chapter of mine gives an overview of the cross-cultural transfer of the Kundalini concept from a psychological-historical perspective. It also describes the phenomenal pattern and current psychotherapeutic developments in this field:
Hofmann L. The Impact of Kundalini Yoga on Concepts and Diagnostic Practice in Psychology and Psychotherapy. In: Hauser B (ed). Yoga Traveling: Bodily Practice in Transcultural Perspective. Transcultural Research: Heidelberg Studies on Asia and Europe in a Global Context. Heidelberg: Springer 2013; 81–106.
(the whole book including this article on kundalini is available under: https://www.asia-europe.uni-heidelberg.de/fileadmin/Pictures/Publications/springer_books /transcult_hauser_978-3-319-00314-6.pdf )
A standard reference on the subject of spiritual awakening and spiritual crises, written in a popular psychological stile and in which kundalini experiences are also described:
Grof S, Grof C (eds). Spiritual Emergency. When Personal Transformation Becomes a Crisis. Los Angeles: Jeremy Tarcher 1989.
Also recommended is "The Psychology of Kundalini Yoga," edited by psychology historian Sonu Shamdasani, which is devoted to C. G. Jung's reception of Kundalini Yoga and includes his original 1932 lecture:
Shamdasani S (Ed). (1999. Psychology of Kundalini Yoga: Notes of the Seminar Given in 1932 by C. G. Jung. Princeton University Press. And here are some more book chapters and articles about more recent scientific studies on the subject of Kundalini/ vegetative-energetic processes. Most of them are available online: · Sanches L, Daniels M. (2008). Kundalini and transpersonal development: development of a Kundalini awakening scale and a comparison between groups. Transpersonal Psychology Review 2008; 12: 73–83. · Scotton BW. The phenomenology and treatment of kundalini. In: Scotton BW, Chinen A, Battista JR (ed). Textbook of Transpersonal Psychiatry and Psychology. NY, USA: Basicbooks 1996; 261–70. · Woollacott, M. H., Kason, Y., Park, R.D. (2021). Investigation of the phenomenology, physiology and impact of spiritually transformative experiences - kundalini awakening. 17(6): 525-534. doi: 10.1016/j.explore.2020.07.005. · Corneille, J.S. & Luke, D. (2021). Spontaneous Spiritual Awakenings: Phenomenology, Altered States, Individual Differences, and Well-Being Front. Psychol., 19 August 2021. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.720579 · Lindahl, J.R. ( 2017). Somatic Energies and Emotional Traumas: A Qualitative Study of Practice-Related Challenges Reported by Vajrayāna Buddhists. Religions 2017, 8, 153. https://doi.org/10.3390/rel8080153
I would like to recommend the book "The stormy search for the Self" by Christina Grof & Stan Grof. It covers all types of spiritual emergence/emergency and provides a wider context for understanding altered states of consciousness in different cultural contexts. I think the third part of the book; Strategies for Everyday Life and Guidelines for Family and Friends, is particularly helpful for those who are new to the process and are concerned about integrating back into daily life after an awakening.
Mysticism: A study in the nature and development of man's spiritual consciousness by Evelyn Underhill. Holy shit, wow! It's old and unfortunately most people just don't write like this anymore. It's deep, romantic, mystical, intriguing, and flat out sucks you into another level of reality. This book so amazingly delineates the stages of spiritual awakening, no matter what your spiritual or religious inclinations, that it just blows you away. I bought it for $4 at a used book store and it is by far the best and most influential book I've ever read.
I recently got recommended by Bonnie to read Chakra Healing Therapy by Glen Park. I would say it is a great book to get an understanding of how the chakras are working on different levels of our being (physical, psychological, psychic and spiritual). I will recite Bonnie from the cover of the book "the most clear and in-depth exposition of the chakra system I have read". It also includes some self chakra-healing exercises. I will review them later on :). I think she also could be an interesting therapist to see. She mixes Alexander Technique and Chakra healing. She lives in West Sussex, so for you Londoners it´s not that far to go. https://glenpark.uk/
One of the most helpful books I read is "Kundalini Rising: Exploring the Energy of Awakening." This is a collection of essays by a rich mix of people who have both experienced and studied/researched Kundalini awakenings. It covers a large variety of topics, and I remember actually being both elated and weeping as I read others' descriptions of things I was experiencing and learned that these are widely recognized phenomena, and that I wasn't going crazy!! This is an excellent book especially if your KA is fairly recent and you want to learn and understand more about what you're experiencing.
The people I highly recommend looking into are Dr. Bonnie Greenwell and Dr. Lawrence Edwards. Both have spent significant and noteworthy careers researching, writing about and counseling thousands of people experiencing a KA, in addition to having had their own personal experiences. There are also many interviews with people who have had Kundalini experiences on a fantastic series called "Buddha at the Gas Pump." The videos are available on the same-titled YouTube channel, podcast versions are also available and more info is on their website, batgap.com.
One final suggestion for now: if you are experiencing psychological issues, you may be well served finding and working with a transpersonal psychologist. I've been doing so for over a year and this has been incalculably helpful in all aspects of my awakening.
The Artists Way and The Art of Perseverance by Julia Cameron
These are great books for developing creativity through making space for your 'inner artist'. Julia talks candidly about her own struggles with alcoholism and living the creative lifestyle and it is easy to relate to her as a companion on the creative path. The books are structured in a number of weekly chapters with exercises in self enquiry and a focus for that week. She also advocates writing 'Morning pages' which are 3 pages of stream of conciousness writing to be written each morning, going for a weekly walk and a weekly 'artist's date' which is a visit to somewhere arty. I have found these books extremely helpful for developing self-expression through writing and art.
https://juliacameronlive.com/
Carolyn Spring https://www.carolynspring.com/ has been hugely influential for me. She's a trauma survivor and trainer, not a kundalini teacher, but her story of overcoming adversity is groundshakingly powerful, and writting about the healing process full of wisdom and grounded advice. Highly reccomend her writings for anyone on a healing path.