Creative Work

The event

caused two parts of me,

to split

into total polarity

One part

Super keen and too intense

like a teenager on speed

wanting to tell everyone

'the worlds not as it seems'

and the part on the other side

terrified

as my normal life and views

fall apart

desperately trying to find the brakes but it can't

For a while I'd just be switching

from one to the other

One day I'd be one part

freewheeling into the future

the next day I'd be the other part

Playing conservator

Both parts, slightly unstable, ungrounded,

immature

2 reactions,

the same, but opposite

to an event that blew my mind.

And for a little while

these parts were so loud

I could barely hear myself

sitting in the middle

Slowly over time

I've been taking back control

peacefully, not forcefully

as both parts still want to be heard

Yes it's true this is 'fucking weird'

I say to one part

and yes that's true, it is 'exciting'

I say to the other

and from my place in the middle

I do my best to relax and surrender

and trust

that things are unfolding as they are meant to

And I accept that. for a while longer,

I'll need to play mother,

To these two young parts,

as they hopefully slowly shift towards centre.

Recently poems have been kind of writing themselves when I do my 'morning pages' journalling. I don't usually consciously try to write them but after the last zoom meeting discussion on integration I thought I'd try to see if I can coax one out to describe some of my experience of this. Integration is still very much ongoing! And 'morning pages' have been my best tool to help me.