Kundalini activation in a catholic convent
Hi everybody! Earlier this year, in 2024, I experienced a Kundalini activation while living in a Catholic convent as a pre-postulant. I had quit my job at a bank and started studying nursing because I felt a deep call to serve humanity. Nothing I was doing seemed meaningful anymore, and I entered the convent wondering if following Christ was my true vocation.
Before entering the convent, I had been living a life of renunciation and detachment for about three years. I even attended church daily at times. However, a few years earlier, my life had been entirely different. I was living a materialistic, pagan lifestyle. I had a DJ boyfriend, bought Louis Vuitton bags and Burberry clothes, all for social validation among my high-class acquaintances.
Everything changed one night when I had a terrifying nightmare. In the dream, I felt an evil presence entering the house where I was staying in the dream. The dogs were barking, and I distinctly heard the name "Lucy" three times before I woke up, suddenly alerted. Eyes open I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. An old woman, dressed in what looked like hospital clothes, was standing by the opposite bedside. She had a vacant expression, seemingly unaware of my presence, but I was acutely aware of hers. Her long, dirty, curly hair and deathly face terrified me. Despite trying to rationalize what I was seeing, convincing myself it was a hallucination, she remained there even after I closed and reopened my eyes multiple times. Her appearance was ghostly, almost like a hologram. When I finally turned on the bright halogen lights in the room, she disappeared.
This experience left a profound impact on me. I began to wonder why this spirit hadn't moved on to the light, and it dawned on me that it might be due to attachment. I realized how much I needed to detach from many things in my own life. The next day, I went to confess to my neighborhood priest and gradually began to let go of tobacco, sex, porn, the need for a partner, masturbation, complaining... I was praying everyday, reading the Bible, and started to love God deep within me for having allowed me to see. My core smoothly changed as my heart transformed through attending church and embracing a Christian life. My interest in partying diminished significantly, and I began helping homeless people with some nuns. This journey eventually led me to quit my job, give up my apartment, and leave everything behind. That’s how I ended up in the convent.
After four months in the convent, I woke up one night with my entire body vibrating intensely, as if I were a conduit for electricity. I could hear a loud buzzing sound, but it was a pleasant sensation. Although I was awake, I felt like I was in a trance—it was incredibly peaceful. This experience repeated itself, and I began to search for answers cos I started worrying, wondering if what I was experiencing might be something evil. Eventually, I discovered the concept of kundalini and astral travel, which was difficult for my Christian mind to accept as real. However, my curiosity as a seeker drove me to explore further. I learned that to replicate the experience, one needed to focus on the vibration sensation.
That night, I lay in bed, relaxed, and recalled the vibrations. As if by magic, I began to feel a tingling sensation in my right eye, which intensified and spread to my left eye, then to my third eye. It felt as though my forehead was plugged into an energy source—thousands of neurons firing in unison at a single point. A part of my brain that had previously been dormant seemed to come alive. I felt a powerful surge of energy, like a fountain of light, emerging from my third eye, accompanied by sound. I was astonished, but I surrendered to the experience, trusting that nothing bad could happen to me in a convent while dedicating my life to God.
After that experience, every time I closed my eyes in the chapel, the tingling sensation in my eyes would return. Confused and desperate for answers, I eventually decided to leave the convent. I found explanations in Eastern teachings, with Osho being the first guru whose insights truly resonated with my experience. Once out of the convent on April 1st, I began meditating using Osho's techniques.
On April 13th, during meditation, I felt an overwhelming sensation of love that suddenly intensified. A light grew and filled my entire head, accompanied by vibrations. The light then seemed to rise out of the top of my head, as if I had become pure consciousness, and burst forth like a fountain, bringing with it a profound sense of ecstasy as it flowed downward. For a moment, I experienced a fusion with what I believed to be both God and myself, realizing that, in a different dimension, I was pure consciousness. When I returned from the experience and opened my eyes, I saw this reality being created before me, like an image slowly loading with golden drops. I began to suspect that this reality was a creation of the mind.
This event was utterly life-changing, bringing me two weeks of ecstasy during which my mind fell silent. After those two weeks, I returned to a my normal state, but a permanent sense of peace remained with me, and I understood what true beatitude was—not the Catholic concept of doing good to achieve blessedness, but a deep, inherent state of being.
A few months later, I attended a Vedanta retreat with a guru, seeking help to make this state of peace permanent. The retreat reignited my Kundalini energy at night, which was sometimes a bit scary, but now I can say that I feel that bliss once again, hope it stays. If my experience resonates with you and can be of help, I am happy to help! God bless you
Marina
Well, I find this darkness in my past lives. Somewhere under the zero degrees of time, I really suffer them watching me from oracles and making stupid remarks :P Some my past reincarnations are really annoying with this and I had to prove that my identity number is a little bit different and they are not really fully me. I am losing the memories of them as I fight them away. But in all cases, you talk about suffering in the past, but I rather think of the days and nights, which naturally flow, the dark and light. I am very cold about the suffering, I really do understand the importance in here and now - that I'm doing something even now, which sometimes looks like suffering, but in all cases, as the karma solves, I have seen the deep visions of the meaning of all this - how it really takes me where I could not become. This is my current process of enlightenment, where suffering becomes simply very, very meaningful and I cannot thus fully agree with you saying it's only meaningful. For every dark time of my life, Cosmos finally revealed the deep feeling and where I was more and more fulfilled about every such past, I am now happy to see the suffering in here and now, not ignoring it, but giving it a deep meaning.
In the second part of your answer, you understand the yang of silence and stillness, and yin of complexity and rationalization. I see the principle of suffering there, where this yin is simply suffering - thus I really do it, I want to see every beginning of my path as yin, leading me to seeing the complexity and overrationalization in where I want to go. In the end, when yang becomes too strong, you are overly tense, and you break.
Maybe, this is a deep philosophical question, a difference between theravada and mahayana. In theravada, it's more like you say - you clean your karma, solve all your conceptions, until you become fully nonexistent - your cause is released, your tensions solved, and you will not be born as you do not have new responsibilities. I appreciate Buddha for going there, but I have to say it's a very direct and short angle to infinity by him. The other is mahayana, which is really going definitely down to yin aspects - stating it wants to "deliberate all beings"; our overcomplex and complicated thoughts are nothing but the poor beings in this world and to resolve this is the mahayana process.
I am turning away from the yang as I do contemplative meditation of focus on details - meditation on mathematics and details, and many problems and complexes of life. In my way, I go deep in this, and I can say it's bad, but it's the balance of good and bad in my life. You are more like theravada, you tell me about the end goals. When I do my yin part, I integrate it and my yang is stronger.
These years, when I look back, the number of lives I have lived is infinity squared, or what I call real infinity. When I look back, I see infinity of lives - all simple scenarios. Now, here, it's maybe the first day of Buddha if he passed all this very fast, but for me it's a lot of experiences fully lived. I have many karmic memories of this. Further, I see infinity expanding, and I see my future lives in great light by that. I never want to go away, because I see in this - there is the positive cycle of karma, which is bringing me back. But, then, I see it as mix of yin and yang, negative and positive; compared to you I'm in taste of love - Buddhism, Christianity, but also Materialism and more philosophical forms of Satanism, I cannot disagree with any. I have solved the major complexities between intellectual and zen view.
I have to say that by this star seed classification I'm from Arcturus. People from Lyra and Pleyades would really agree with you and I really love them with their little bit cryptic intentions; I have no problem coexisting. But, really, Arcturus is of higher dimension and they do not make this distinct line between science and religion, which are unified on Arcturus. Also, we do not measure people for their religious achievments, but it's really the same if they achieve the same benefits with material efforts, and both should be measured on the same basis, without using the negative words. As functions of a person, they give equally strong benefit, and I have to say that this kind of view might be your personal direction, given that you have to avoid something to do the other, so you can say what is good and bad for you - but if you talk of this as if it's a part of your religion, it's like hateful speech, it could be insulting for people, who manage to build bridges or manage some part of the food cycle for you. And for complete health, once your brain can function in stillness, you still need to develop a strong sense of discrimination (Buddhist word for intellectual thought), and you cannot be happy for having 3 of the upper chakras open, where 4 of the lowe chakras are rather closed.
Humans do not contain negative functions, but only the ones they underdevelop. You can tell me that your root chakra is underdeveloped, or that it's operating in exceed and thus you have to calm it down and repress it for opening other chakras - but you cannot really tell me that you are somehow better than some materialist only because your root chakra is closed; if you root chakra is closed, you are dependent on the materialist people, because your karmic activity is towards people with less than all chakras, and with those combinations of people with different chakras you can manage. So, when you insult those chakras, it's not a good karma. When you concentrate on all the chakras, you can tell me that you have been in exceed of food and thus you have to control yourself - but I have not been, and thus you do not need to control me in this. Food is important part of life and not a perverted function of some Freudian school (I am Jungian - Freud was the one to talk like you, that some functions of human are inheretly perverted, such as Oedipus complex; I am not talking with this Irony of Freud, even from religious sense addressing the non-believers). Person with only the root chakra cannot really see higher perspectives, so they can be perverted, but the case of them having the root chakra open is really a good part of it, and the bad part is having their upper chakras closed - not vice versa, where the root chakra open would be bad and upper chakras open the neutral part of the final binary decision. Some people win nothing from not doing the intellectual activities - those are only things to keep them surviving.