English is not my first language so, please bear with me.
I had my kundalini awakening on March 7th 2024. I had a satori type of experience, I felt that we were all one, that we were all light, that you just had to be your essence since your essence is god. We are all god. That day the base of my spine started to “boil” and since then I surrender to that energy, every two or three days, so she can work on my body. She moves my whole body in all sort of different positions (kryas) standing up, kneeling, laying on the floor. I feel the energy has been going up and down the body, cleaning all my energetic channels. I have done this since day 1 and currently I feel I´m going through a phase I have called the “purge”. What has been going on is I have been doing a lot of energetic vomiting after which a very strong sadness emerges, and I start bawling my eyes out. I have also started to see some vision during these periods, sometimes flashes of images combined with images that I cannot shake. I have seen some Hindu deities, snakes, eagles, anthropomorphic animals, regular people that I don´t know, etc.
But last night really shook me. I vomited a lot, not more than in other occasions, but a lot, and a profound sadness came over me, I start crying but for the first time the kryas continued and I has a vision that a huge black snake was coming out of my mouth!!!!!!, I saw a small snake lunching herself at my face with her mouth open but she didn´t bite me and I was not afraid. After that I started to see Ganesha very very close to my face and then my face transformed into hers, I could see my nose and mouth transformed into an elephant’s trunk and finally I start seeing all these old male statues with a bunch of black big, thick snakes coming out of their mouths.
I was disgusted, scare, sad….. I don´t know what this all means. I know it is all symbolic but, this time I feel shook I guess…..
If anyone can tell me anything about what this could mean I would highly appreciate.
Ah, here is where the terms can be misleading since they are used so differently by different people. By Shamanism I mean practices of relating/working with forces of nature as beings, in order to bring healing and balance. Not from Native American traditions specifically but from many places and also something that can be accessed directly if these forces start showing up. Maybe 'animism' is a better term as it's a bit broader and less associated with any specific region/tradition. :-)
Just my perspective/experience, but I think these experiences can happen for us outside of specific practices because we have some other connection with them - such as through ancestry, past lives or even through the land itself where we live. Another way to look at it is we each have the aspects of consciousness show up that we are aligned with - for whatever reason.
I'll send you a message with my email. :-)
Hi Nata,
Wow, you are in an intense unfolding! Reading your experiences, you have gone to the deep end rather quickly. :-) It honestly sounds like you are navigating it very well on your own so far - even though it is bringing up fear (which is understandable, particularly without context), it doesn't sound like this has totally unbalanced you. Your surrender and your inner guide are serving you well.
I think you might find a lot of support in Pierce Salguero's 'multidharma' work http://multidharma.net/. The crux of his map is to help put these types of experiences in context - so they can be accepted and unfold well - and to understand that all traditions are coming from their own viewpoint, so may not fully explain what each individual is experiencing. (It's also common for traditions to dismiss experiences outside their tradition, which can be disorienting and troubling.). There are four main 'threads' in this model (emptiness, oneness, energy and psyche), which can be experienced in infinitely unique combinations and eventually become blended together. In your case, you describe an initial awakening that is a classic 'oneness' eperience, followed by an opening of the 'energy' thread, followed by a plunge into the 'psyche' thread.
Even though kundalini traditions do describe the 'purging' of psyche material - and may include space for visions of deities etc - many tend to focus more on the 'energy' and 'oneness' threads and less on the 'psyche' thread. So if you are having deep 'psyche thread' experiences, you might find support in understandings and traditions that are based more in that thread - stuff like shamanism, Jungian psychology etc. The transformation that happens from this perspective is about more than just purging (which is more of a 'oneness' perspective), but rather about becoming a different kind of multi-dimensional Self. That can mean many different things but can include having various types of consciousness that are now a part of you - animalistic aspects, deities, ancestors, etc. If a psyche unfolding is happening together with a oneness unfolding, then both will be happening together - maybe at different times and then simultaneously when they become blended together. You mention feeling that you're purging past lives, collective energies etc. Just to validate that, this is very real, both in my understanding and personal experience. It sounds like you are doing well in allowing that process to happen. Maybe some specific support could be helpful to process certain aspects of what is coming up, too. I don't know any practitioners in LATAM but Pierce offers free 'office hours' which you can join through his website. He is also Latino! And if you want to reach out to me personally, I am happy to chat on a call - feel free to send me a DM. Best wishes, Charlotte
P.S. Sounds like the Shakti might be leading you towards doing a headstand! I know this because I’ve been guided into exactly the same position you describe, but it went a bit further! I was on my head with legs tucked up, ready to go but then my ego got in the way and I thought there’s no way I can do that 😂. I sabotaged rather than allowed 😊
Hi Nata, I understand what you’re saying, I have kriyas myself and experience spontaneous movements, asanas, mudras, vocalisations etc. I haven’t experienced visions or vomiting. I have read a lot of books myself and I found YouTube a helpful resource, however you do have to be very discerning. I personally would not look for a kundalini yoga teacher or go down that route at all. I’m sending you a link to an article that explains that Kundalini is not a specific practice or path, at it’s perceived to be. Sadly, it’s very misunderstood.
https://www.watkinsmagazine.com/kundalini-defining-the-undefinable
The author of this article is the teacher that I follow. He does not give individual guidance these days, but does have retreats in Mexico annually. He also offers online courses and does a lot videos on YT. I have learned a lot from him, but his teaching style is very academic and it took me a long time to be able to follow what he is saying. Nevertheless, I think he’s the best, especially now as you say Joan Harrigan is no longer taking on students.
Like I said, I do believe that a daily sadhana is essential to stabilise this process. If you’ve read Joan Harrigan’s books you’ll be aware that it can enter the wrong pathways and I understand this is very, very common in people who have spontaneous awakenings. The other possibility is that Kundalini hasn’t awakened at all and you’re experiencing Pranotthana which is much more common, mimics the Kundalini Process, has the same symptoms but doesn’t lead to liberation. It’s a precursor to full awakening if you like. I have also studied basic Ayurveda and I try to have a sattvic diet/lifestyle. I’ll be honest, this is a work in process as I am not a saint, but I think sometimes as the process unfolds, it can force us to eliminate things that aren’t beneficial. I wandered whether the vomiting could be related to your diet and perhaps it might be worth exploring your Dosha and recommended foods, if you’re not familiar with these already. Of course it could be nothing at all to do with diet and just another means of purification; the Shakti works in mysterious ways! These are just my thoughts and I wish you well going forward 🙏🏻
Hi there, I can understand why you have found these recent visions so disturbing and I don’t think that anyone will be able to tell you what they mean. I think rather than seek to interpret them, the only option is just to accept them and accept the process and this purging as a phase that you’re going through.
There’s a few things that you don’t elaborate on in your post; what led to your awakening? Where you doing any practices or did it occur spontaneously? When you say you “surrender to the energy every two to three days” what do you mean? Are you just sitting, lying down and allowing the Shakti to take over, or are you doing any specific practices. I’m just wandering if you’re doing any practices that could be “too much” or equally not doing enough.
I think that a daily sadhana is important to support this process as are other things - diet, lifestyle, the company we keep and so on. Also do you have a guide/mentor/teacher? Someone who has walked this path already?
I hope this phase passes for you. I’m now wandering if you actually feel any “better” for all this purging? 🙏🏻