I'm Marcelo, I'm 28 years old, and recently, 5 months ago, I got my Kundalini activated by a person who manipulates kundalini. I was in a middle of a break up and finishing my master degree, when in dispair and in search of some answers for my life, I went to this person, which said he's been working with kundalini for 12 years old, after being baptized by the Archangel Michael. I had heard about kundalini, but i never investigated on what it actually was, and he didn't gave me a lot information on the subject... So I kindda let him work on my energy, without knowing what I was tapping in..After that I got to the city where I was studying and got to work on my project. At first it was amazing, I was connected with the plants, the planet, the air! Everything felt so easy, so clean in my mind and I could feel love for everything.. However, 4 hours later my terror began. I went to a friend's house for lunch, and when I got there something started to suffocate me, the energy was dense, my mind started to go to a dark place, by no reason.. I had planned to work on my thesis after lunch, but something in my mind kept saying " don't do it, you don't want to do it, it's lame....". I ignored all of that and went to the library anyway, but as I started to write there's the screaming suicidal thought, that I never had for many many years in my life. I couldn't stop crying.. all this suffering came to my, all the pain that i caused my mother and ex-girlfriend/'s, just laid in the grass and let it all pass through me... it was devastating and I thought it was just a thing, but it wasn't..
Since that day for 3 months, my life turned upside down.. at first I didn't associated it to kundalini. I had this constant pressure in my head, depression, lack of vitality, fatigue, panic attacks, 2 hours of spleep per night, time and space got really strange, suicidal thoughts, a whole bunch of symptons, that now I can see it's all kundalini. Because I was so afraid I went to a Tradicional Chinese Medicine lady, that also works with bioenergetics, and she was able to make most physical symptons go away. However, my mental health is still a mess... I get this strong sensations where I feel that no matter what I do, nothing matters, that somehow there's no hope...Now I feel very guilty for having someone to mess with my energy... I was a joyful person, very empathic and optimistic and I don't get it... My mind can't think straight, always comparing my life to others and a bunch of traumas from my childhood, and some I feel that are even from past-lifes.. It's really strange. Honestly I just wish I could go back in time...
Sorry if this got too sad, or too dark, but I just want to tell you my story. I know I'm not the only one, I want to believe that everything ends eventually, and being connected to the community makes me feel safer.
Thanks so much for being there, for this community!