Hi Guys!
I'm Marcelo, I'm 28 years old, and recently, 5 months ago, I got my Kundalini activated by a person who manipulates kundalini. I was in a middle of a break up and finishing my master degree, when in dispair and in search of some answers for my life, I went to this person, which said he's been working with kundalini for 12 years old, after being baptized by the Archangel Michael. I had heard about kundalini, but i never investigated on what it actually was, and he didn't gave me a lot information on the subject... So I kindda let him work on my energy, without knowing what I was tapping in.. After that I got to the city where I was studying and got to work on my project. At first it was amazing, I was connected with the plants, the planet, the air! Everything felt so easy, so clean in my mind and I could feel love for everything.. However, 4 hours later my terror began. I went to a friend's house for lunch, and when I got there something started to suffocate me, the energy was dense, my mind started to go to a dark place, by no reason.. I had planned to work on my thesis after lunch, but something in my mind kept saying " don't do it, you don't want to do it, it's lame....". I ignored all of that and went to the library anyway, but as I started to write there's the screaming suicidal thought, that I never had for many many years in my life. I couldn't stop crying.. all this suffering came to my, all the pain that i caused my mother and ex-girlfriend/'s, just laid in the grass and let it all pass through me... it was devastating and I thought it was just a thing, but it wasn't..
Since that day for 3 months, my life turned upside down.. at first I didn't associated it to kundalini. I had this constant pressure in my head, depression, lack of vitality, fatigue, panic attacks, 2 hours of spleep per night, time and space got really strange, suicidal thoughts, a whole bunch of symptons, that now I can see it's all kundalini. Because I was so afraid I went to a Tradicional Chinese Medicine lady, that also works with bioenergetics, and she was able to make most physical symptons go away. However, my mental health is still a mess... I get this strong sensations where I feel that no matter what I do, nothing matters, that somehow there's no hope... Now I feel very guilty for having someone to mess with my energy... I was a joyful person, very empathic and optimistic and I don't get it... My mind can't think straight, always comparing my life to others and a bunch of traumas from my childhood, and some I feel that are even from past-lifes.. It's really strange. Honestly I just wish I could go back in time...
Sorry if this got too sad, or too dark, but I just want to tell you my story. I know I'm not the only one, I want to believe that everything ends eventually, and being connected to the community makes me feel safer.
Thanks so much for being there, for this community!
Looking forward to meet you all!
A lot of love,
Marcelo Miranda
Hello Marcelo, I can put myself in your shoes, something similar happened to me, in my case the energy woke up by itself, I did not look for anyone to activate it, however in the process I had many incomprehensible symptoms and I made the "mistake" of seeking help in a person who told me that I could manipulate my kundalini energy and free myself from all my discomforts and physical symptoms, since then my life entered a complicated phase, I have been able to recover but I am still in the process, my greatest recommendation for anyone who reads this text , is the following: if the energy awakened alone or was intentional, let the kundalini energy itself take control, only it knows your body like no one else on planet Earth and it is never wrong, the symptoms that manifest as a result of the cleaning that she does to the symptoms that can be generated by incorrect manipulation of energy, in a few words the consequences can be without a doubt catastrophic and I express it from my experience, the biological and nervous system disorder that this person caused was terrible. In me, however, in the plan of our soul everything is perfect, even the apparent errors, we do what we can with the information we have and living these types of experiences teaches us and from this we can help the future of humanity, in me personal opinion energy is sacred and highly wise, know everything about your body, know how each cell and each part of your nerves works, the nervous system is the most subtle part of our biology and is where it flows, we must take care of it and trust Every second, no matter how challenging our experiences, kundalini is doing its best work with us.
Hi Marcelo,
Thank you so much for sharing. Sorry to hear you have been having such a difficult time. The way i look at it is that ultimately Kundalini is a positive and healing process....it is also a clearing process "wiping the tape clean" so we can be in harmony with who we truly are. However, in this we are forced to face our unresolved traumas and our conditioning....so it is not an easy ride. It has not been my experience but I know of a number of others who have gone through that sense of nothing matters and hopelessness......but this will eventually pass.. It is a process.
Please feel free to use all the support on the website.......you might find the monthly zoom call useful, sharing with others yours and theirs journey.
I hope it begins to get easier soon..
Alan x