Help understanding really scary visions
English is not my first language so, please bear with me.
I had my kundalini awakening on March 7th 2024. I had a satori type of experience, I felt that we were all one, that we were all light, that you just had to be your essence since your essence is god. We are all god. That day the base of my spine started to “boil” and since then I surrender to that energy, every two or three days, so she can work on my body. She moves my whole body in all sort of different positions (kryas) standing up, kneeling, laying on the floor. I feel the energy has been going up and down the body, cleaning all my energetic channels. I have done this since day 1 and currently I feel I´m going through a phase I have called the “purge”. What has been going on is I have been doing a lot of energetic vomiting after which a very strong sadness emerges, and I start bawling my eyes out. I have also started to see some vision during these periods, sometimes flashes of images combined with images that I cannot shake. I have seen some Hindu deities, snakes, eagles, anthropomorphic animals, regular people that I don´t know, etc.
But last night really shook me. I vomited a lot, not more than in other occasions, but a lot, and a profound sadness came over me, I start crying but for the first time the kryas continued and I has a vision that a huge black snake was coming out of my mouth!!!!!!, I saw a small snake lunching herself at my face with her mouth open but she didn´t bite me and I was not afraid. After that I started to see Ganesha very very close to my face and then my face transformed into hers, I could see my nose and mouth transformed into an elephant’s trunk and finally I start seeing all these old male statues with a bunch of black big, thick snakes coming out of their mouths.
I was disgusted, scare, sad….. I don´t know what this all means. I know it is all symbolic but, this time I feel shook I guess…..
If anyone can tell me anything about what this could mean I would highly appreciate.
When you train, your muscles get tired and pained: think of this model of reality, more like Taoist or Buddhist, that it's pain, which is growing you. The first thing is a positive approach towards pain - much of fear of pain is a hallucination, the feeling cannot hurt you ..I often see pain as a reward.